Å sette seg selv fri

Det er viktig å frigjøre seg fra fortiden, gi slipp på det som tynger deg. Og nettopp det har jeg gjort de siste dagene, ved å slette gamle dagboknotater. De fysiske dagbøkene forsvant i 2016 og 2017, da jeg som minimalist kvittet meg med alt som ikke har en funksjon eller gir meg glede. Og disse hadde ingen annen funksjon enn å trykke meg ned, påminne meg smerte og faenskap.

De minnene som betyr noe – husker vi. Og alt annet kan få lov til å gli ned i fortidens bunnløse dyp. Jeg har spart på noen ytterst få dokumenter, men det er av kreative årsaker. En dag gir jeg slipp på de også.

Jeg har notater her på bloggen, både fra gode og vonde stunder. De vil aldri bli fjernet. Det samme gjelder dikt og andre kreative tekster. Det er noe som har verdi for meg. Men det er et faktum at jeg har skrevet mer dagbok i vonde perioder, og nå som disse periodene er over – var det på tide å gi slipp.

Gi slipp, så noe bedre kan fylle den plassen.

4 kommentarer om “Å sette seg selv fri

  1. Are you sure to chuck them away? Maybe you could pack them in a box and store them elswhere, at your parents house for instance, deep in a closet or so. So when after many many years you would like to know how life was in the past, you could find them again if you want to. (I never wrote a diary, but somtimes I wish I would have.)

    • The diaries that I had physical are all ready long gone! I got rid of them in 2016 and 2017, like I wrote.

      Now I have only deleted the text files, after going through all of them. But around 75% of my diary was in paper books, so this isn’t a huge difference. Just a necessarily one 😉

      I have been thinking about this very carefully, before I decided to delete it. You have to understand that it is hundreds of pages of pain. If someone asked me a couple of years ago, I would think they were crazy if the told me I was going to throw away and delete all of my diaries. But it’s one of the most freeing things I have done 🙂

      Since I have all of my pictures and poems – I still remember what I need to. I have lots of memories attached to pictures, and they can also take me back to old thoughts in an unique way. And of course I also have this blog.

      I think I may write a different kind of diary in the future. Maybe a digital bullet journal or something. Just anything that is not so long. From 1st to 8th of February this year I wrote 38 pages (around 22500 words) of diary, and I can’t continue like this. It’s just way to massive to ever read through in the future.

      Sometimes I make video diaries on my computer, and I think that may be a better way to document things. And at the same time I’m able to see myself talk and how I change by the years.

      • A video journal, that is a great idea. Now with the very good video function on phones it’s a piece of cake as well, or use a photo or computer camera. When I was young my friend and I made some movies on super 8 film. My friend still has them 🙂 They look like and are actually those crumbly old films. In colour though! I am 16 in these movies, skinny, long hair, hippie pants and a thin, just started moustache (not anymore, the moustache I mean 😉 ) It’s great to have them! And I agree, pictures are reminders too and to much text is useless. And I realise I am not the person to mind your business anyway 🙂 So, sorry for that.

        • Yes, I just use my macbook. And sometimes my Samsung galaxy s7. Both of them give great sound and video quality.

          That sounds funny with your movies. And your able to capture SO MUCH more feelings and thoughts when you make a video. I have some movies from my childhood. The first one is from when I was only 3 years old. My dad was the one who always carried a video camera when I was a child.

          I like that you question my decisions, it makes me think! So please don’t stop doing that 😉 I was thinking the same as you earlier, that it would be nice to look back at my diaries when I’m older. But I still have lots of time to journal in a different way, that I actually want to keep.

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